2011 The Beginning Of A New Life

It has been quite a while since I updated my blog. I actually tried updating it for a time or two, but ended up deleting the whole thing, feeling boring and ran out of inspiration. I hope this will be a successful one.

Well, as most of u know, Im currently pursuing my Degree in Inti Nilai. It has been a while since I came here. 4 months passed just in a blink of an eye. There's so much happenings, so much memories and so much stories that I could not just tell it out here. In a shorter way to conclude this, I had a lot of fun here and still do. I would like to thank those who entered my life since I came here, U guys have always brighten up my days. I thought it will be a boring place surrounded by jungles but u guys have proved me wrong.

Some little play back moments when I just came. On the first day I stepped my feet here, I have the sudden urged to run back into the car to follow my parents home. All these while, I have been staying home even when I was doing my Diploma. I know I can overcome homesick in a snap of fingers but still the feeling of waking my siblings up early in the morning, hugging and saying good bye to them, looking at those tears rolling down from my maid's face, I told myself, I have to hold on my tears and tell them I will be fine. All the way from Kuantan to Nilai, there are hundreds and thousands of questions running in my mind. Whether I have made the right decision to come here after so many researches have been done? Whether I have made the right choice of pursuing this course? Whether it is the right choice to let go of my dreams of studying abroad?

When we arrived, I went and registered myself and made all the payments. There are so many new and strange faces. How I wish I have at least one friend to be at my side on that very moment. After checking into the room, my parents walked their way to the car and headed home. This moment I shall remember forever. I tried to hold my tears again but I failed. Hugging parents isn't a practice in my family. But this time around, I hugged my parents so tightly before the left, my mum started shedding tears and I couldn't control myself too. My dad being the strong one, trying to cheer us up but I can see the sadness in his eyes, he was sad too.

After they left, I went to an activity called OLE that have been planned by the uni. An ice breaking activity. This is where I got to know so many friends and they are the ones who have been going through all the ups and downs with me until today. We spent most of the time having breakfast, lunch, dinner and also supper together. We planned our own games and tell stories of our own. Few days later, classes started and everyone have their own schedule and some of us have slided away from the group. But I guess, this is life, people come people go. But once a friend, forever it will be. Sometimes, we do meet up for games and food. As most of you know, my birthday is on the first month of the year, I thought I will have to celebrate a lonely 21st Birthday myself but my new friends have proved me wrong. They celebrated my birthday with me, special thank to all of you. You know who you are! Thank you. We also planned a few outings together and we had loads of fun. We will continue on planning more outings as some of the friends are going abroad soon.

Im running out of inspirations! Lastly, I would like to introduce this someone whom I've met here. He was in my group during the OLE and we started being friends and he always made sure that I have companion all the time because he knew that I am all alone here without having any friend at the beginning. He also introduced his friends to me and we spent most of the time together until today. I have chosen him to be with me in my future undertakings! I hope that this relationship will be an everlasting one. <3

Will try to update more often if I have the time and inspiration. More photos will be uploaded when I have time. Signing out for now. Xoxo!!

THE ROAD LESS TAKEN

How often we must bear the challenges of life;

The endless roller coaster between happiness and sorrow;
The constant ups and downs of daily strife.
And always the question remains .... why?

Life is not an easy road for most;
It twists and turns with many forks in the road,
Although always, and inevitably, we are given a choice ...

Do we turn to the right ... or the left?
Do we take the high road ... or the low road?
Do we take the easy path ... or the difficult one?

Decisions are not easy for those struggling for direction ...
And sometimes the many choices and signs become overwhelming.

While standing at a crossroads in life,
The urge is to take the most comfortable path;
The road with least resistance ...
The shortest or most traveled route.

And yet, if we've been down that comfortable road before;
Have gleaned its lessons in life, and learned from our experiences;

Do we yet again follow the known?
Or does our destiny lie in another direction?

The fear of the road less traveled is tangible and all too real;
It manifests itself in many ways,
And tends to cloud the issues that might otherwise be clear.

It is in these times of confusion,
That we must seek peace and solitude;

Time to contemplate on our life,
Our experiences and our choices past;
Time to look back, and reflect on what we have learned
Without fear or confusion.

For only each of us knows our own personal thoughts;
Our unique past and personal history;
The experiences that brought us to the crossroads we now face.

We can always learn a small degree from others experiences,
And yet ... no one person can walk in our shoes,
Others know not, the trials and tribulations faced in private ...

For each is individual ... unique ... and personal.

And that is why ... while standing at a crossroads,
Only "we" can formulate the decision for ourselves;
The true direction that lies within;
The choices we must deliberate on with clarity and wisdom.

For it is only through personal reflection,
That we can now choose our destiny;
... Our next adventure;
... And the future we will embrace.

I've so many unspeakable thoughts and feelings within me.

Its ain't secrets, its just hard feelings.

How I wish I've someone to talk to.

How I wish I could read everyone's mind.

So that I wont fall into dilemma again and again.

What is the actual reason why God wants me to be here in this world, I wonder.

To spread His word? To tell of His love? or something more complicated than these?

I've seen uncountable incidents that happened around me that makes afraid of life.

Im afraid of falling into the same situations.

Can someone please lead and guide me through this dilemma?

Its not easy. But I've learn something through all these.

The only person you can trust is yourself and God.

Even if the whole world is against you,

You still have to be strong, and

Not forgetting that He's always there for you,

Whatever happens is by for a reason and

He's the only one who understands it.

Sometimes being alone is not as bad as we thought

Because the person you thought you could trust can be the one that hurt u most.

Have been quite busy lately.Busy on my assignment, due to last min work( since forever), busy on my tuitions and etc etc...I need to take a break. Cant wait to finish my diploma this coming August.Thinking of doesn't need to go to college anymore, doesn't need to do assignment anymore, staying home catching up with all the dramas, sleeping all I want..Woah!! Freedom here I come..

But again, my maid is going back to Indonesia soon after I finish studies, which means I've to do all the housework after she leave. In a sense, its good also, I can take it as an opportunity to go on diet and also I think for now, I prefer to do housework than to go out there and follow what people ask me to do. I've enough of all that crap!

Passed up 1 assignment last 2 days and did the presentation as well. Wasn't really satisfy with it cause I was having tongue tied during the presentation, I dont know why. Whenever Im nervous, I'll be tongue tied! Ah...bless me for the next presentation, Lord God.

Went and watched Twilight Saga - Eclipse. Its a movie to die for! So romantic and sweet .. Omg! If only there is a guy who can be as cool, as sweet and as loving as Edward Cullen. <3<3

Once a friend always a friend!

To my besties Sin Lan

Even though Im kinda disappointed that we actually lost touch for quite some time but after talking to you the other day, I felt much relieved. I don't care what had happened, all I want is to be like last time again. We were so close until we made each other's house like our own. We always spent nights together to chit chat and have fun. Until u told me that Chong is coming to Kuantan to help out in ur dad's company. Somehow I knew that our friendship is going to be affected and true enough, my thought strikes!

It has been months or almost a year since we last slept over. I cant remember. Too many things had happened. You and I have our own problem to tackle on. GiGi has a bf already and she's busy with her life too. Further more, we're not studying together already, so we have lesser time to spent for each other. I remembered the last time the 3 of us came out for a drink and you started to tell us bout ur problem and we started arguing. We just don't understand each other like last time anymore. Im sorry for that!!

Now that you're having problem with Chong, I hope that you can cope with it well. Don't let obstacles to stand in ur way, I hope life will treats you well. Just do whatever you think its right. Do not care what people say about you. You know everything about yourself more than any other do. You can always fall back to ur family and ur friends. We are always here for you.

From what I read in ur blog. Do u think that ur taking control over him? Sometimes, u might think that all u do for him is for his own good but u will never know what he thinks and perhaps u have over do it and he thinks that its a burden cause at times he wants it his way. Every individual should have the freedom to choose upon the things they want and every individual have their very own character and attitudes that makes them unique and different. So sometimes you should discuss with him before you make a decision. Let him choose the way he wants to lead his life and if whatever happens, he can't put the blame on you. And as for you, if u think that u want to study abroad to continue with ur studies and if ur parents are okay with it then go ahead. But dont do it because you want to let run away from ur problems as it will only make things worse.Think wisely.

Bittersweet memories we had in our past and I promise we will go through it together always and forever till the end. And I wish to you joy and happiness. May God shower you with His abundant blessings and love. Loves and Hugs dear! Take care and Im looking forward into the next sleep over after so long. Xoxo.

Suddenly this thing came into my mind. I would like to thank my Heavenly Father for granting me such a great life with loving family members and relatives, caring friends and also protecting and guiding me throughout all these years. And also thanks to my earthly father, who never failed to be there to support me during all my competitions and performance. And he's the only Mathematics teacher who can make me understand Maths better. Last but not least, I would like to thank my late god father who takes care of me since I was young and taught me a lot of principle in life. I still couldn't believe that you're no longer here anymore but to me and the rest of the family members, you're always in our heart and we miss u a lot! Happy Belated Father's Day! I Love You!

Perhaps we'll never understand each other.
Loving doesn't mean that we agree.
If that were so, then I would say, why bother?
But there are things I know I'll never see.
I'm sure your heart knows what I don't yet know:
The pain of loving a reluctant son;
The anger, coming fast and building slow,
Of being helpless to control someone.
You want only that I grow up right,
But you know what right is, and I still don't.
I have to learn to wield my inner light,
And if I follow yours, well, then I won't.
I'm sorry for the anger in the air;
Though we fight, my love is always there.

Just came back from Cameron Highlands yesterday.

It was indeed a great trip!

Most of all, I love the cooling weather there.

The plantations, flowers, vegetables and fruits are all so pretty and fresh!

Ate lots of sweet corn there, love em' all.

The strawberries are kinda sour but someone told me if its not sour den its not called Strawberry!

But still, I love to eat strawberry. They have really awesome strawberry ice cream, strawberry waffles, strawberry milk shake, strawberry with whipped cream and A LOT MORE!

I would like to thank God for this camp, without this camp, I dont know when in my life will I have this opportunity to go to Cameron and not only the place, the bond between my church members and I are much better now! Love u guys! Stay tune for the photos as I have to upload all the pics!

Xoxo

Alice